Exploring the Complex World of Forgiveness in Diverse Cultures and Workplaces

Welcome to the Vet Staff podcast, the place where veterinary professionals can join me, julie South, in discovering how we can all get our heads screwed on straight, get excited about going to work on Monday mornings and lead less stressful and more fulfilling lives at home and at work. Today we have the third in a multi-part series on what I consider one of the foundational building blocks to personal and professional fulfillment. We're going to look at how to let go of stuff backed by science that gets in the way of us getting stuff done in our lives. What we're looking at today is how forgiveness is shaped, not only by how and where we grew up, but also by the values, explicit and implicit, in force inside your vet clinic. If you're working in a clinic that has a culture of litigation, where if there's any kind of difference of opinion ends up with a get-even attack, then your stress levels are going to be on constant alert, your cortisol and adrenaline levels are going to be off the charts and it won't be a happy place to be. On the flip side of that, if you're in a clinic where the underlying values support reconciliation, empathy and forgiveness, it'll be a much nicer place to work and it'll be easier for you to recruit and retain staff. As I've said in the previous two episodes in this series, although I'll share the key, it's not a one-time-forever-always solution. Rather, unfortunately, it's a perpetual practice that we need to put into place, often A key we must consistently turn throughout our lives to keep the doors open and to keep our adrenaline and cortisol levels down and our oxytocin levels topped up. But first let's have a quick word from this show's partner, and then we'll get straight into the nitty-gritty of the science. The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by vetclinicjobscom, the new and innovative global job board reimagining veterinary recruitment, connecting veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online. Vetclinicjobscom is your go-to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and helping vetclinics power up their employer branding game. Visit vetclinicjobscom today to find vet clinics that shine online, so veterinary professionals can find them Vetclinicjobscom. Let's start with what and how forgiveness can be and has looked like across different cultures. Although forgiveness is a universal human experience, its expression varies widely. Our upbringing plays a pivotal role on how we're primed to forgive or hold on to resentment or not. Let's have a quick look at some of the overarching factors that might impact our cultural regard for forgiveness. Religious influence plays a part. The top two religions in the world Christianity and Islam at 31% and 24.9% respectively each have forgiveness and peace as a significant aspect of their faith. Therefore, if you've been brought up in either of these two mainstream faiths, not as a fringe or a fundamentalist practitioner, you'll value the idea of forgiving others as a means of being a good Christian or a good Muslim. Next, we have cultural collectivism versus individualism. These are two contrasting social and political philosophies that describe and affect how individuals relate to society and the role of the individual within a community. It's the difference between the focus being on the group versus the individual. For example, in Japan, a very collectivist culture, there's a strong emphasis on maintaining group harmony. Forgiveness may be prioritized, therefore, to avoid causing shame or disruption to the social group. In the US, on the other hand, where individualism is favored, personal rights and justice are often highly valued. Forgiveness, therefore, is usually more of an individual choice rather than a societal obligation. When it comes to our justice systems, here in God's own New Zealand, we seem to have embraced restorative justice principles which focus on healing and reconciliation between offenders and victims. This is where there are facilitated meetings between the parties to discuss the harm done and the forgiveness sought. The flip side of that is on the retributive justice system of the US. Here, punishment is the primary goal. Forgiveness doesn't rank very highly in such a legal system. The historical context of forgiveness is also important, for example, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in post-Apartheid South Africa. This sought to promote forgiveness and reconciliation by allowing individuals to confess their crimes in exchange for amnesty, thus contributing to the healing process after a very horrific period of racial conflict. How the social norms play out and what you've been brought up with are important. For example, japanese society, as I said before, places a strong emphasis on social harmony and avoiding confrontation. Forgiveness is often encouraged, and open conflict or confrontation may be seen as socially undesirable. The flip side of that can be seen in Russia. Russian culture, for example, tends to place a strong emphasis on personal strength and resilience. Forgiveness comes way down their list of virtues in most cases, because revenge or holding grudges is just what they do. This is very evident in what's happening in that part of the world today. If the West expects Putin to let go, pigs will fly first, because it just won't happen. The Russian psyche isn't primed for reconciliation. Our society's historic agenda roles play a significant factor as well. Admittedly, this is very definitely changing, but it's been part of each country's psyche for such a long time that it's going to take another long time for this to filter down into forgiveness and reconciliation as well. I'm sure that we're all aware, for example, that in some Middle Eastern cultures women are expected to be nurturing and forgiving, even in the face of personal injustices. Men, on the other hand, are encouraged to uphold family honour through retribution, revenge and or seeking justice, just getting even an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. On the flip side, in some Scandinavian countries there's a strong emphasis on gender equality. This results in the expectation of forgiveness being a human response rather than a male or a female response. How we've been brought up to express forgiveness makes a difference. In Western cultures we're okay with coming out and saying I forgive, of using the words, whereas in some Asian cultures they bow and exchange or exchange gifts to convey forgiveness or remorse. You're unlikely to ever hear I forgive you from someone from the East, because it's just not what they do. It's about saving face and schools and through education. There is such a thing which surprised me, but it was lovely to find when I was doing the research for this episode. There is such a thing as the International Forgiveness Institute. It teaches forgiveness education. I'll put links to this in the show notes because it's pretty impressive. Imagine if forgiveness could be part of all school curricula. According to their website, the International Forgiveness Institute, educational programs are being taught in 19 US state and in more than 30 countries outside of the US. In Milwaukee, for example, 68% of teachers using the curriculum observed that students decreased in their levels of anger and increased in their academic achievement. In addition, 95% of teachers thought their classrooms functioned better because of the forgiveness curriculum. That same percentage said they actually became better teachers and better people through teaching about forgiveness, together with more reading, writing and arithmetic in our schools. I think we also need here in New Zealand. We need more of this as well. Imagine what a different world we'd live in. Imagine how our homes and our workplaces would be different if forgiving was part of how life was. Wow. And then, regardless of how each of us has been affected through religion, a country's culture and individual families, we then have that big thing of individual variability, the exceptions that prove the rule, the outliers in each group. Even within the same cultural country, humans will have varying inclinations towards forgiveness or not, based on their individual personality traits, personal preferences and psychological factors Within countries. Some governments have apologized for atrocities and injustices performed better than others. Some governments have apologized better than others. When apologies take place at very high levels and you really can't get much higher than a government or a country's apology reconciliation and forgiveness can start. Our world has been hurt and it is still hurting. We don't have to look very far back in history, even back to our grandparents' days. We have racial segregation in many countries. We've got Hitler and the Jews, the US and Hiroshima. The list goes on. We have our Treaty here in New Zealand, south Africa has the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which I mentioned earlier, and Australia has its National Day of Healing. All steps in the right direction, even though many more steps still need to be taken. I'll put links that make some interesting reading. One is an essay entitled A National Apology has the Power to Change the Future. The other is a list of political apologies. I'll also put some background information on the South Africa Truth and Reconciliation Commission as well, which was actually formed in 1996. What I've shared today are the larger global aspects of cultural and relational forgiveness. What's going on in your clinic? Within your clinic, you have a cultural subset thing going on, governed by your clinic's expressed or implied values. Your clinic is a microcosm of the broader cultural and relational forgiveness systems that exist in society. What happens at work reflect and reinforce cultural values related to forgiveness. It can also shape individual and group behaviors regarding forgiveness. Your clinic's workplace culture, leadership style, conflict resolution policies and employee well-being are all influenced by the forgiveness dynamics within the broader cultural context of your clinic. Let's do a bit of a 101 on what I'm talking about inside your clinic. For example, if your clinic has a culture that values forgiveness as a means of maintaining harmony, this means that conflicts in your workplace, when they arise, may more likely be resolved through forgiveness and reconciliation rather than through punitive measures as an organisation. If your clinic has a high trust value, then encouraging employees to forgive and reconcile after conflicts could be a way, a process, to maintain a healthy work environment. What's the leader's team approach and or attitude around forgiveness practices? For example, the owners, the principals of the clinic, the head vet, the lead nurse because they make a difference as well. A forgiving and empathetic leadership style will more likely bring about a workplace culture where forgiveness is encouraged and practiced. Conversely, obviously, as you'd imagine, a punitive leadership style may discourage forgiveness and then by default, have an attitude of retribution and getting. Even here in New Zealand we have a formalised conflict resolution process and it should be contained or referenced in all employment agreements. The way conflicts are addressed within a workplace is an essential aspect of a clinic's forgiveness system. However, regardless of this, I know there are sadly some clinics that treat and regard all former employees as if they were hated enemies. The culture in these clinics is that the names of former employees are only spoken about with derision and mocking. Sadly, having such litigious cultures means that everything will come down to win, lose, retaliation and retribution. And when you have all the physiological and psychological negative stress things going on in your life that I talked about last week, then that's what it's going to be like. It'll be horrible. Then this in turn impacts employee well-being. Forgiveness practices, or lack thereof, within a clinic have a huge impact on employee well-being. A clinic culture that promotes forgiveness will help contribute to reduced stress and better mental health among you and your team members. Conversely, a clinic that lacks forgiveness and harbours grudges will lead to high-stifed turnover, increased tension, decreased job satisfaction, negatively impacted service levels, all of which will hit actually, they will thump a clinic's bottom line. Red ink in the form of blood will start to show up on clinic's balance sheets and profit and loss reports in time. Of course, in your clinic, especially if you're in a multicultural Kiwi clinic where you're working with people from all sorts of different backgrounds and belief systems managing forgiveness and conflict resolution requires a bit more sensitivity, and this is where clinic values come into play. What about restoration? Some clinics, especially the litigious type that I mentioned earlier, have a restorative justice model going on, while others are into conflict resolution, where it's all about forgiveness. So where is the focus? Is it on repairing harm and addressing the needs of both sides of the equation the victims although I don't like that word, I prefer survivor and the offender or the perpetrator? And what about facilitating forgiveness and reconciliation? Then, of course, what about your clinic's attitude to personal and professional development around forgiveness training? Does your clinic place value on upskilling everyone in conflict resolution, empathy and forgiveness? When this happens, employees are better skilled, have greater understanding and practice forgiveness more effectively. So, having been enlightened somewhat today on cultural and relational forgiveness, where to from here? What can you do to make a difference? Here are a couple of things, a few things that you can do to make a difference. The first is to shine a light on where you sit, on your own cultural perspectives on forgiveness. How open are you in engaging in conversations I'm not saying it's going to be easy because nobody likes well I don't. Most people I know don't like conflict resolution. So how are you in engaging in conversations and chats and dialogues about forgiveness with people from different cultural backgrounds to you? It's hard enough when we're with somebody who understands us. It's even harder when there's a difference taking place. How willing are you to listen to their experiences and stories of forgiveness in their lives? What about at work? How recently, if ever, has your team participated in this type of communication training? If you haven't, then I invite you to check out episodes 141 and 142 of the Vet Staff podcast with Dr Meg Irvine of VetLife Skills. I'll put the links to her episodes in the show notes for you to check out. The other thing you can do, if this type of training and these forgiveness type values and culture exist in your clinic, is to shout out about this from the rooftops on your clinic's business listing at vetclinicjobscom. If you have a premium listing, then you can include this aspect under your clinic's values and training sections. Both of these fields are searchable by job seekers, which means that job seekers will be able to find you by searching for clinics under those categories. By including these, it'll make you more attractive to job seekers that hold values that you've showcased on your clinic's business profile. If you have any questions on how to do that, please get in touch with me via vetclinicjobscom website. Again, we've barely scratched the surface. Another layer of the onion has been uncovered. As I said last week, think of forgiveness as being like a tapestry cloak, woven from diverse threads of psychology, philosophy and human experience, a cloak that, when you wrap it around yourself, has the power to heal wounds, to mend relationships and to set you on a path towards growth. Please join me next week as we look at some of the inner journey aspects of forgiveness how to forgive ourselves so that we're able to forgive others. Until next week, remember that forgiveness is a journey, one that begins within and radiates outward, touching lives and transforming hearts. Please, if you liked this podcast, please help us get the word out. You can do that by leaving a comment and sharing it among your friends. If you're not following us yet, then please do that as well. It's free and it doesn't hurt. I promise you can do that at your favorite Podcast listening app. It just means that you won't have to go looking for it next week, because it'll show up in your podcast feeds as soon as it's released. Thank you. This is Julie South signing off and inviting you to go out there and be the most fantabulous, forgiving version of you that you can be. The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by vetclinicjobscom, the new and innovative global job board reimagining veterinary recruitment. Connect in veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online. Vetclinicjobscom is your go-to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and helping vet clinics power up their employer branding game. Visit vetclinicjobscom today to find vet clinics that shine online, so veterinary professionals can find them. The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by vetclinicjobscom.